Downhill Spiral...

It's been a really eventful week. Kyle had his Blue & Gold Banquet last night for his cub scouts and has earned his bobcat and tiger cub badges. I was presented with two "mom's pins" for Kyle to pin on me and Gene received a certificate of appreciation for support. They even gave Joshua a framed Certificate of participation, which was so cute, since as they were awarding the badges to the tiger cubs, Joshua was up front with us and he kept saying, "Don't forget about me!" The crowd giggled, it was too precious. I was completly unaware that they had a certificate for Joshua and he was so proud of it!

I'm so very proud of my little Tiger Cub!!!

Ok, can't resist....one more photo of Kyle!

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Now for the rest of the week....which isn't very good news at all. After returning home from the banquet, Joshua went to bed fully dressed and immediately fell asleep. He awoke at 11PM crying sitting up in his bed. Poor thing had vomitted all over his bed and he was trying to get his dress shirt off but couldn't get the buttons undone. Gene has a VERY weak stomache and could barely gag his way through the clean-up. We'd just gotten Joshua in clean sheets and jammies laying on the couch resting when my mother-in-law called.

I knew it was bad, because it was 12:30 AM. She asked to talk to Gene and needed him there immediately because Bud wouldn't settle down. He was agitated and pacing...or trying to anyway. By the time Gene got there the hospice nurse was there and they had doubled his morphine in an effort to try and calm him down and get him to rest. Gene spent the rest of the night with him, mostly up because Bud just didn't know where he was and was hallucinating. Gene called me from work this morning and told me that he had a rough night with dad. He's not used to seeing him that way and at one point the only thing he could do was to hold him and let him know someone was there that he knew and cared about him. I know this is so hard for him. I feel the end is nearing fast and I'm so unprepared for what will happen next.

I felt it necessary to sit Kyle down and tell him that Papa has cancer and that he is very sick and probably won't get any better. Kyle understood that Papa would go to heaven if he dies and didn't say much other than that. He tends to bottle things and keep them in when they bother him, so I pray that he will be at peace with all that is going on. Kyle has not had a chance to go over to show Papa his Pinewood Derby trophy and the video of his races yet, because he came down sick with the flu early Thursday morning and we wanted to be cautious and keep whatever it is going through the kids away from Bud. Now I'm afraid that Kyle won't get a chance to share that with Bud.

My mother-in-law told me this afternoon that it's too much for one person to care for him at this point and they are looking into getting a hospital bed for the living room to help keep him resting. So Gene, will probably be spending more nights over there and it will make it rough for him physically and emotionally.

Please keep us in your prayers. Pray for wisdom, strength, courage and peace during all of this.