A new addition and a loved one gone...

We have a new addition to our family! His name is Expo and he is a five year old male weimeraner. We called a few days ago from an ad in our local newspaper.

He was free to a good home.

Here he is with Joshua holding the leash. We had arranged to pick him up Thursday evening. That was before we knew all the events that would happen that day.

He came into our lives just hours after Papa passed away and left our lives.

We got the results from Kyle's chest X-Ray....he has bronchitis. Nothing we can do, but let it run it's course. The fever did break finally Thursday afternoon! But he's been running a low grade temp since then. Funny thing is...I have a cough just like him and can't shake this YUCK feeling. Hmmmmmm.......

So, I left Kyle with daddy to take a nap...they'd both had a long night/day. I took Joshua to go pick up Kyle's schoolwork for the days he's missed, take back some movies, and to the local dollar store to pass some time. I forgot my cell phone in my car and we browsed through the store. I didn't even realize that Gene was desperately trying to get hold of me. As I pulled up in front of the video store the phone rang and he said didn't they give you the message at the video store? I asked, no why? Because I need you home now, dad's dying. OK....the only thoughts through my mind were....if he doesn't make it there in time....it's all my fault for not having the phone with me. So a carefree excursion with Joshua, instantly turned into a race against time to get home so Gene can get to his dad's bedside.

He made it and had time to tell Bud that he loved him and would take care of mom. That I loved him and said goodbye and that the kids said they loved him and goodbye. He nodded his head each time. He was coherent, since they hadn't given him any morphine since Gene had left that morning. He stopped swallowing and they were unable to give him anything by mouth. A morphine pump was on order, but not installed yet. Gene and my sister-in-law Regina, were holding his hands as he took his last breath. Gene's youngest sister, who is 5 months pregnant, did not make it in time to be there when he passed. She lives almost a 45 min drive away.

He called me at 6 PM to tell me that Bud had just passed away.

The boys are having a difficult time dealing with Papa being gone. Kyle is quiet and introverted. Very sad and doesn't want to talk about it at all. Joshua is angry, frustrated and acting out. Gene is being so strong for me. I'm just falling apart and he seems to know just what to do or say.

Last night, we all had just about had enough. The boys were fighting. Joshua just wanted to be with Kyle and he only wanted to be alone. So it ended up that Kyle yanked Joshua off his bed and he fell on the floor smack on his head. I was on the pbone with my mom and Gene had the do outside at the time. When I figured out what had happened...I put my arms around them both as Gene stood behind me and told them...I know this is hard on you....it's hard on all of us....and we need to pull together and think of each other's feelings.

Gene sensed I needed a break and called our sitter. He totally surprised me and we went to see the movie "Wild Hogs" last night. Very good timing for us. The movie was very funny and had us laughing most of the way through it. We both needed the comic relief and for a few hours it took our mind off things.

I'm SO not ready to say goodbye. We went to Kathy's for dinner tonight. After the kids left the table, Kathy asked me if I wanted to go and say goodbye to Bud before they close the casket tomorrow. It wasn't a total surprise to me. Gene told me when he got home Thursday I would have the opportunity to see him before they closed the casket if wanted. Being that we were all sick, I didn't have the opportunity to say goodbye before he passed and I needed to stay with Kyle when he was dying so that Gene could go and be with him. I really wanted to be there. It's Bud's wishes to have a closed casket so I wasn't going to go. But Kathy when Kathy asked, she said she was going tomorrow in the early afternoon. I felt like she wanted someone to be with her and told her I would go.

I broke down tonight and told Gene, I'm not ready to say goodbye. It's going to be so hard tomorrow. I'll be going right after church to the funeral home for a private viewing and then the calling hours are 7-9PM. We'll be there at 10AM for calling hours and the funeral at 11. Our minister will be doing the ceremony. Then there will be a full military burial immediately after. They will do a 21 gun salute and taps with a flag presentation.

I'm not sure I can handle that. I feel so bad that I can't seem to keep it together, especially for the boys. I told Gene tonight, How can I help them feel better if I don't feel any better?

Please pray as this will be a very difficult few days.